TIP THREE – REFRAMING DIFFICULT EXPERIENCES ☀️
Asking yourself the following questions can help you re-story a difficult situation or experience so that you are able to respond rather than react. The following questions can also help you cultivate and draw on self-compassion during these tougher moments in life which is often when we can be the hardest on ourselves.
- The story I am telling myself is _____________
- What is another way of looking at this? Is there a more helpful way of thinking about myself or this situation?
- Have I been judging myself harshly? Is there a fairer, more balanced way of summing this up?
- Is there a way of thinking about this now that is more likely to help me achieve my goals?
- What would I say to a friend?
- What’s the worst that can happen?
- Have I coped with it or something similar before? If so, how?
- What is a more realistic outcome?
- What’s the true likelihood of ________ happening?
- What can I learn from this?
- What skills and strengths do I have to help me through this?
Remember, we are not our thoughts, we *have* thoughts. Some of these questions may not be appropriate in every situation and that’s okay. Just pick and choose which ones will be the most helpful at the time. If it helps, write your answers down.
We are all just doing the best we can with the tools and experiences we have in the moment. Be gentle with yourself; judging your emotions only prevents you from working through them. When we can effectively seperate the realty of what is happening from our interpretation of what is happening, we will greatly improve our ability to communicate with others.
Journaling prompts:
- What if the problem isn’t how you feel in these moments, but how much you beat yourself up about how you feel? How would that shift the way you talk to yourself during/after difficult situations?
- What have these type of experiences taught you about your resilience? About your strength? About what may be important to you?